Foreword
My 'website' is in two main parts: my personal journey through the past & my weight loss journey through surgery that I am embarking on. Although I guess you could say both are intertwined my weight loss journey is more about the NOW and my personal journey is more about the PAST. So for those of you who are looking at taking the step of Weight Loss Surgery (WLS), or who are on the same path as I am you may just want to follow along under the heading 'My Weight Loss Journey'.
For those that are interested in reading about my personal journey through the past I think that it is important for me to precede the pages of 'A Woman's Journey' ahead with a bit of a disclaimer or explanation. Our journey together is not about feeling sorry for ourselves nor is it about pity for others. Rather it is about emotional, spiritual and physical healing while we continue to carry out our daily lives.
God hurts when His people hurt and cries for the lost. He is there for anyone who asks for Him. I do not believe the saying that you often hear people say, "God must have a purpose for that." Are you kidding me?! How do you explain when a baby is found dead in a garbage can, or a young child is raped and murdered, or a loved one succumbs to a disease? God does not make that happen nor does He want it to happen. Sadly, that is because there is sin in our world. Our God is a God of love not of hate nor is He the one that reeks havoc on our lives.
However, what my personal journey has taught me is that God is able to take what we have experienced in our lives and have something good come out of it. I would not be able to share my 'story' and experiences with you if I had not experienced what I did. It is my battles, struggles and victories that have made me in to the person I am today. It is because of these times that I am able to understand and relate on a deep, personal and emotional level. And ultimately, it is because God has carried me through these times, even though often I was unaware of His presence.
I have to tell you that since I started writing my story I have had a few sleepless nights. Although when I started I was so sure in my heart that it is what God wants me to do I have been worried what people will think of me. It made me think of something that happened so here goes....
For those that are interested in reading about my personal journey through the past I think that it is important for me to precede the pages of 'A Woman's Journey' ahead with a bit of a disclaimer or explanation. Our journey together is not about feeling sorry for ourselves nor is it about pity for others. Rather it is about emotional, spiritual and physical healing while we continue to carry out our daily lives.
God hurts when His people hurt and cries for the lost. He is there for anyone who asks for Him. I do not believe the saying that you often hear people say, "God must have a purpose for that." Are you kidding me?! How do you explain when a baby is found dead in a garbage can, or a young child is raped and murdered, or a loved one succumbs to a disease? God does not make that happen nor does He want it to happen. Sadly, that is because there is sin in our world. Our God is a God of love not of hate nor is He the one that reeks havoc on our lives.
However, what my personal journey has taught me is that God is able to take what we have experienced in our lives and have something good come out of it. I would not be able to share my 'story' and experiences with you if I had not experienced what I did. It is my battles, struggles and victories that have made me in to the person I am today. It is because of these times that I am able to understand and relate on a deep, personal and emotional level. And ultimately, it is because God has carried me through these times, even though often I was unaware of His presence.
I have to tell you that since I started writing my story I have had a few sleepless nights. Although when I started I was so sure in my heart that it is what God wants me to do I have been worried what people will think of me. It made me think of something that happened so here goes....
Don't Rock the Boat & The Cup of Pee
We lived in Yellowknife for five years. And NO we didnt live in igloos. We lived in a regular house. One of the great pasttimes in Yellowknife was canoeing. There are some gorgeous lakes in Yellowknife. One summer, my 13 year old nephew came to stay with us for a bit of a holiday. We got a babysitter for our two young girls and, myself, husband, two sons and nephew headed to Vee Lake for a paddle!!! On the way we stopped at the gas station and got the kids slurpees.
We hadn't been in the canoe for very long and our oldest son, who was ten at the time, decided he had to go pee. Now we were already a long way out and so suggested that he pee over the side of the canoe. He tried but couldn't get his balance and turn himself enough so that he could do this. Then one of the kids had a great idea....pee in your slurpee cup. Brilliant!! He managed to accomplish this somewhat difficult task in a rocking canoe with several people trying not to stare at him but who were extremely curious as to how he was going to get his pee into the slurpee cup while waves were rocking the boat. (Dont forget these are all pre-teen boys and they were amused by yucky things like this) Once the amazing feat had been accomplished our son proudly held the cup high to show the world what he had done. His cousin, who was sitting next too him, (well lets face it we were all sitting next to him as we were in a canoe for goodness sake), freaked out because the cup of pee was wavering above his head. Of course, along with the freaking out, the rest of us were starting to get a bit concerned and as we all tried to get our son to lower the cup of pee the boat began to rock extremely precariously. Now, if our son would have just lowered the cup of pee and IF no one tried to grab the cup of pee we would have all been safe. But alas, this is not how the story goes. His cousin, started to stand up to grab the cup of pee causing the boat to rock which caused some of the pee to slop out of the cup. Which then resulted in our cousin reacting by trying to knock the cup out of our sons hand causing ALL of the pee to go flying!!! Needless to say, with everyone covered in pee we had to head back home.
I am sure you are all laughing and think this is a somewhat humorous story. However, at the time no one was laughing. But this was going through my head last night at 3:19am. You see, I like people to like me. I mean really, who doesnt? And the thoughts that were creeping in to my mind were probably the same as anyone elses might be....are you sure you want to write this? what are people going to think of you? are they going to think less of you? are people thinking that you are just going to 'rock the boat?' are you going to end up covered in pee after everything is said and done? These thoughts were going through my mind over and over and over. It took me several hours and then I just yelled (in my head that is because everyone was sleeping) 'STOP!' I know this is not God putting these thoughts in to my head. God is the one who wants me to share my story and it is ONLY because of Him that I am. So, this morning I am typing this foreword instead of deleting everything. Perhaps I will end up covered in pee but you know what?, that is okay because it will be for the LORD.
We hadn't been in the canoe for very long and our oldest son, who was ten at the time, decided he had to go pee. Now we were already a long way out and so suggested that he pee over the side of the canoe. He tried but couldn't get his balance and turn himself enough so that he could do this. Then one of the kids had a great idea....pee in your slurpee cup. Brilliant!! He managed to accomplish this somewhat difficult task in a rocking canoe with several people trying not to stare at him but who were extremely curious as to how he was going to get his pee into the slurpee cup while waves were rocking the boat. (Dont forget these are all pre-teen boys and they were amused by yucky things like this) Once the amazing feat had been accomplished our son proudly held the cup high to show the world what he had done. His cousin, who was sitting next too him, (well lets face it we were all sitting next to him as we were in a canoe for goodness sake), freaked out because the cup of pee was wavering above his head. Of course, along with the freaking out, the rest of us were starting to get a bit concerned and as we all tried to get our son to lower the cup of pee the boat began to rock extremely precariously. Now, if our son would have just lowered the cup of pee and IF no one tried to grab the cup of pee we would have all been safe. But alas, this is not how the story goes. His cousin, started to stand up to grab the cup of pee causing the boat to rock which caused some of the pee to slop out of the cup. Which then resulted in our cousin reacting by trying to knock the cup out of our sons hand causing ALL of the pee to go flying!!! Needless to say, with everyone covered in pee we had to head back home.
I am sure you are all laughing and think this is a somewhat humorous story. However, at the time no one was laughing. But this was going through my head last night at 3:19am. You see, I like people to like me. I mean really, who doesnt? And the thoughts that were creeping in to my mind were probably the same as anyone elses might be....are you sure you want to write this? what are people going to think of you? are they going to think less of you? are people thinking that you are just going to 'rock the boat?' are you going to end up covered in pee after everything is said and done? These thoughts were going through my mind over and over and over. It took me several hours and then I just yelled (in my head that is because everyone was sleeping) 'STOP!' I know this is not God putting these thoughts in to my head. God is the one who wants me to share my story and it is ONLY because of Him that I am. So, this morning I am typing this foreword instead of deleting everything. Perhaps I will end up covered in pee but you know what?, that is okay because it will be for the LORD.